Only Light
by Lerixia
Summary: If there was any remaining light, it was well and truly gone...


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Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto in any way, shape or form. What I do own is the story that you are about to read.

Only Light

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You know, I've always been a disappointing puppet. I was like a puppet that didn't turn out right. Sure the puppet looked pretty and perfect as passer-bys comment but to the clan, I was just…

…wrong.

Father has always lectured me about my flaws. In my way to show my strength, I had stopped the tears from falling.

Father hated tears. He was a stern, cold type of person. Tears were a person's weakness to him. Tears were a shame. He would tell me to never cry. I remember when Mother was still alive; he'd comfort me whenever I cried. But once Mother died, it was as if his heart had turned stone cold. He only appreciated the strong and since then, Hanabi was the child that he was proud of. Not me, the true heiress of the clan.

Even if I were a disappointment, there was always a small light. That small light would make me smile, make my heart thump and make my face red. That light was Uzumaki Naruto.

I admire him. I find it hard to believe that whenever he is put back, he shows great determination and never gives up. He's always smiling. Whenever he wasn't, I wanted to help bring back that smile.

Uchiha Sasuke was his main source of both sadness and determination. Jiraiya-sama had offered to take on Naruto as an apprentice and make him stronger, strong enough to bring back Sasuke. And off went Naruto, strengthening himself for two and a half years.

Those two and a half years was very lonely. The small light of happiness had shrunk to something too small. Haruno Sakura was a good friend of mine. Sakura, Ino, Tenten and I were our small circle of kunoichi. We always stuck to each other and supported one another. I was glad to have them as my friends. They were the ones that had kept that small light alive, even if it was just a tiny bit.

Anyway, Sakura was becoming Tsunade-sama's apprentice. She wanted to be more useful and help everyone in anyway she could. Sakura always had good control over her chakra. I wasn't surprised when she decided to learn medicine.

Ino was learning to master and maybe even create more techniques for her clan. Ino's and Sakura's friendship was quite special. It was like Naruto's and Sasuke's. It was a friendship of rivalry but could easily get along in an unfriendly matter. You know? Not only did Ino perfect her techniques but she also started to learn a bit of medicine. They always have a competition on who was better. It was always fun watching them quarrel.

Tenten was slightly different though. She mastered her weapons. She and Sakura were alike; they both came from families, not clans and did not have any special techniques to learn. Tenten was usually free and bored. But every now and then she would disappear to make up better weapons and scrolls. She wouldn't come back until night fall. True Tenten didn't work as much as Sakura and Ino, she was more of a carefree person, but when she did get into her work, she worked hard.

So, looking at my friends and everyone else, I silently made a promise to myself and Naruto on the morning that he had left our village. I promised that on the day he would return, he would see how much stronger and more useful I've become. I was going to be stronger…for him.

I trained everyday in our property's courts. Neji would train me, no, he would push me. I would rest every now and then. I admit, my stamina wasn't quite as large as everyone else's. But I did try hard.

In those two and a half years, the atmosphere between me and my Father had lightened just the smallest of bits. I could tell he wasn't as disappointed in me when I was smaller. I would occasionally smile when I was around him. Of course, he wouldn't smile back but that didn't matter.

I remember the day that Naruto returned. News had spread quickly. I had to see him, just a glimpse. So I went to Tsunade's office. I didn't go in. I just stood outside on the wall close to a window. The door opened. In came Naruto, Sakura and Jiraiya-sama. I saw Sakura wink at me. I looked at Naruto. His skin was more tanned; his eyes were different but the same. You could see the hardships in his eyes but the same old goofy self of his as well. I could imagine his toned muscles under that baggy jumpsuit of his.

I turned away as I felt my face heat up. That was enough for me. I didn't need to see more of him. As long as he was happy then I would be happy.

I jumped from roof to roof until I had reached my home. I sneaked into my bedroom and lay on my bed. I couldn't help but smile. My body felt warm. I was happy again. That small light grew larger once more. I had more reason to smile again.

But one day, that all disappeared…

Naruto, Sai and Neji were out on a mission looking for Sasuke. Tsunade hadn't allowed Sakura to go since she could've had her emotions take control of her actions. Naruto on the other hand, he was the only reason why Sasuke would come back.

It would always make me wonder, was my love for Naruto unrequited because he had feelings for Sasuke? Tenten has always joked that the two were gay and so in love with each other.

Days had passed since the team was sent out on their mission. Sakura was there when they had returned. She told me about how she felt a bolt of fear shock her body as only Neji and Sai entered the office with dark faces.

My heart too, had tightened.

"They apologised to us," Sakura told me. "Even Sai did. He looked very upset. Neji was angry at himself for letting such a thing happen." She took a breath, steadying herself from the tears in her voice. "Then they confirmed it. Naruto took a Chidori to his heart protecting Neji."

We both broke out in tears. Everything else was a blur. I couldn't remember the rest of the conversation. I cried and screamed in denial. The world has suddenly become darker than before. Since that day I can't remember a day with light in it.

My small light had disappeared.

I carried on with my life like a walking corpse. All my efforts had been wasted. Father yelled at me more often. I think I had disappointed him more than I have ever had. Then all of a sudden it just stopped. My brain began to slowly comprehend the things that were happening in my life.

Naruto was dead.

I have disappointed my clan to the point that they don't even bother.

Everything had gone wrong.

I was basically dead, just living…

Then it all came perfectly together. It made perfect sense. Why be the living dead when you could just be, well, dead? I would see Naruto if I was gone. No-one would notice. I was insignificant.

I locked the door to my room. I sat in the middle of the floor and slowly grabbed out a kunai. My hands shook as I raised the kunai to my neck. I could feel the tears fall. I pressed the cool metal to my neck. But I was hesitating. Something was stopping me.

But that hesitating caused trouble for me.

"Hinata! Hello! Open up!" It was Sakura at me door.

Of course I didn't answer. I stared at the door, thinking what I should do. Should I wait until she left or just do it or maybe not do it at all?

"Fine, I'm going to let myself in then!" I heard her pick at the lock.

Click.

"Hinata, why did you lock your door? I had to undo the lo-"

She stopped mid sentence and stared, horrified at the position that I was in. Then she darted towards me, struggling to remove the kunai from my hands.

"Hinata! What are you doing? Why are you doing this?" she screamed at me.

I fought back trying to quickly kill myself without hurting her. "Just leave me Sakura-chan! Leave me! I want to do this!"

"It's Naruto isn't it?" I could hear her tears choking her. "That makes me sad too but I'm not going around killing myself! Now give that to me!"

I screamed at her. I fought against her. I struggled to keep the kunai towards me. The kunai ended up pricking me every now and then, not that I cared.

Then the kunai was held above us. Sakura used her strength to hold it up and away from me. Once she knew that I couldn't get it to me, she turned to face me.

"Hinata," she whispered to me. Her voice was pained. "I know that it is hard for you but please, please don't kill yourself. Naruto isn't your only light. You still have me and Ino and Tenten. We are always here for you and you know that."

I struggled again to get the kunai.

"Stop!" The tears were flowing freely. "Please don't do this Hinata!"

"No, no, no! You don't understand!" In a sudden burst of anger, I found the strength to pull the kunai back down. I yanked it towards me.

But it went wrong.

I heard a sickening crack and squish. I didn't feel any pain though.

Then I saw where the kunai had gone. It had pierced through Sakura's neck. The point was incredibly close to me. The crack was from her bones. She was going to die.

Sakura only put up a poor smile and said, "This isn't your fault."

Then her body went limp and fell onto me. My eyes were wide in shock. I had just killed one of my closet friends. She was lying dead in my arms.

I screamed out in pure horror. "It was my fault! My fault! It's all my fault!"

I pulled out the kunai from Sakura's neck. I stood up, away from her dead corpse. I started to cut myself in any place possible.

"I'll atone myself! I'm sorry Sakura! It is my fault! I'm sorry!"

Soon my clothes were all torn, stained with my blood. My body was dripping with blood. Pain ached throughout my entire body but I welcomed it. I felt dizzy and light headed. It was then I knew I would end it all. End all the sorrow for myself.

Without any hesitations, I slit my throat and fell to the floor next to Sakura. I stared at her dead, dull eyes. Her hair was a dark crimson. We both lay in our own growing pools of blood. Everything was red, later changing to the comforting black that I had wished for.

If there was any remaining light, it was well and truly gone.

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Okay, so this is my first story in a while. I know I could've made it much more longer and deepened but that isn't exactly my style. Anyways, I just made this on the top of my head and re-checked the end and made it flow a bit more smoothly. I hope you enjoyed this story! Please review!

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